The Luke & Pete show is bringing you a healthy does of weird and wacky this Christmas season… From Issue #030, this is Breaking Bread with Stak!
The Christmas lights are up, the turkey is in the oven, everyone is wearing flimsy paper crowns, and your two favourite uncles are standing in the corner having a weird conversation about batteries… Welcome to The Luke & Pete Show!
The festive season is upon us, and Luke and Pete are bringing you all the world’s stunningly strange stories. From intergalactic conspiracy theories to Elon Musk’s latest attempts to be cool, and lots of questions about Hulk Hogan, all your party conversation starters are covered! … Maybe.
To celebrate we’ve asked Luke and Pete to predict the other co-host’s dream Christmas – what could possibly go wrong?
So, where do you think they are waking up on Christmas morning?
Pete: In his house – rubbing his eyes as he trudges downstairs for a morning of present opening in the bosom of his young family, pausing only to part the Venetians to see if the lady over the road has illegally put her cones out on this special day.
Luke: Pete will be woken up on Christmas morning in his workshop/shed down the bottom of the garden by one of his dogs. He will rapidly come to the realisation he’s bought hardly any presents, and the ones he’s bought he can’t find. The ones he can find he has no idea who they’re for.
What gift would they be most excited for opening?
Pete: One of those bags of 10 quid jamon crisps he keeps talking about, or a book about UFOs. A book as big as an Alsatian about Eisenhower’s continuance of the New Deal, 1956-57.
Luke: Anything tech. Anything that can be construed as some kind of superfluous gadget; an electric tin opener, some thermal paste perhaps.
What would be the one thing that would ruin Christmas for them?
Pete: Me turning up. God, should I?
Luke: I could see the toilet being blocked and he will insist on trying to fix it rather than leaving it alone. For some reason I have an image of him looking confused holding a plunger in a marigolded hand
How does their dream Christmas end?
Pete: Snoozing in front of Only Fools and Horses. Luke’s Dad rocks up with a newly reconditioned park bench and he stretches out on it. Closing his eyes and dreaming of being probed by ALF or something.
Luke: I think of him falling asleep in an easy chair with a glass of something nice on the go, wearing a Christmas hat at a jaunty angle, his glasses falling slightly down his nose and his mouth slightly upturned in satisfaction.
For all your festive frivolities this holiday season, head over to The Luke & Pete Show wherever you get your podcasts.
This column was created with Stak. Stak produces podcasts that entertain and inform, including some of the UK’s biggest and most popular shows – boasting a combined 4 million monthly listen and over 45 years of podcasting experience. Whether recording remotely or in our broadcast-grade London studio, we special in every stage of the podcasting process. To find out more or get in touch, visit our website at stak.london.